Verse of the Day

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Blah Days

So, for the past week, I've been feeling kinda down. I found out last Thursday, that I need a hysterectomy. I've been told for the last 10 years, that "by the time hit 30, I'd be a Prime Candidate for one", but, Landon was born the month before I turned 30, and I'm now 31. I always hoped, deep down , that the Doctors didn't know what they were talking about. I know, wishful thinking, but, one can hope...
Anyway, I've not been doing very well, since Landon was born. Back in May, I went to the Doctor because I was afraid I was suffering from Postpartum or something. I couldn't get motivated to do much of anything. I just wanted to sleep, I was snapping at the entire family, there were even times I didn't want the Baby near me. I was going nuts. I was feeling like the worst Mother, ever. Come to find out, I had a Hormonal Unbalance, due to the pregnancy and birth. Doctor put me on Progesterone Cream, which seems to help some. We also discussed, at the time, about the pain I was experiencing. I had had surgery back in 2000, for Endometriosis, and was having the same symptoms, again. He informed me that if the medicine didn't help with that, we'd have to take different measures.
Well, this past month, the pain has been getting worse, instead of better. I went back to see him, on Thursday. We talked about all the different options that there were for me. All medications he offered (high dosed birth control, continuous birth control, etc) have all been tried in the past. I always have the opposite reaction to these , so he decided that was over and done with. He could do another Laparoscopy, like I had in 2000, but the Endometriosis is not just were he could burn it off. It's mostly in the lining of my uterus, which means, he can't get to that. The pain will continue to worsen, if we don't do something now. Doctor said the only option for that was to "put the thing in a bucket". *sigh* Not REALLY what I wanted to hear, but I had decided that was what he was going to say. Maybe not quite THAT way, but...
So, I'm having surgery on December 3rd. This shouldn't mess up our annual Christmas trip to the In-Laws, because, apparently, the recovery time has lessened over the years. He told me that I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING for 2 weeks (not 4-6). After that, I still wouldn't be 100%, and I wouldn't be able to do the major stuff, but I could probably drive. This means I shouldn't have a problem traveling a couple of hours at the END of Dec. It's also an Overnight Surgery, instead of 2-3 days. The six of us will be moving in with my parents, until I can recover enough to pick up the baby.
You know, I have FOUR Wonderful, Handsome, Little Men, but I always wanted that Little Girl. So, I guess I'm going through a sort of mourning process. I try to remind myself that there are those who cannot have ANY children, and those who only have one, and can't have more. But, I don't always manage to get out of my blahs. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade my precious boys for all he girls n the world! I just always wanted a girl, TOO. They all want a baby sister, too. That was tough for me, to have to break it to them that that wasn't happening. They all informed me a month or so ago, that they were praying for a sister. I had to explain that this was God's answer, not that He didn't answer. I don't want this to be a reason for them to lose faith in the Power of Prayer. Some of them cried, but that's okay. I've had my crying moments, too.
So, I am trying to focus on the GOOD things that could come from this. It's obviously not been easy, but I have thought of a few. I won't have this particular pain, anymore (Lord-willing), I won't have to worry about my painful monthlies (YAY!!!), my marriage could only get better (since I hopefully won't be in as much pain all the time), and I can maybe start doing some things I've never been able to do (due to the sudden pain attacks). I also, only have one room for the boys, so....where would we have put a little girl?
I was hoping to get this surgery over with by the end of this month, but between the hospital's schedule, the Doctor's schedule, and mine, it wasn't possible to do it until the 3rd of December. I'm trying not to dwell on it, but think positive thoughts, and get some things done (now that I have the extra time) that I won't be able to do afterward. This week, I'm having trouble with that. I ask you all to pray for me these next couple of months, that my spirits will lighten, and I'll be able to accept this. Also, that the surgery will go well, and I'll be able to go back to my role of Wife and Mother soon after.
Thank you all for "listening" to my drearies today. I love you all!

A Verse for Today's Thoughts

Psalm 118:24 This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.


  1. Oh Amy! I'm so sorry! **HUGS** Have you thought of adoption as an option? There are people who throw away babies like garbage, especially girls, and those little ones would give anything to be loved. Maybe God didn't say, "no." Maybe he said, "Not this way at this time." I used to think adoption would never be possible for us because we could not afford it, until I heard about the death of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter Maria and through that found out about adoption grants. If you are interested in learning more:
    I will pray for you that whatever God has in store for you that He gives you peace and joy in it! **HUGS**

  2. Thanks for your comment! I do not celebrate Halloween either, which is why I'm doing this series. People ask me why not and act like I'm depriving my children of something important by not, and I'm not very well-spoken. I have to have time to think about what I want to say. So I'm writing it out on my blog so when people ask I can direct them to a well-thought-out and well-prayed-out response instead of stuttering and stammering in a panic because someone is expecting me to talk. :-/
    My husband is more than content with the two children we have as well. I just keep praying that God will either make me content as well or give my husband the desire for more children, according to His will. Although I sometimes have a hard time not mentioning large families at every turn! Lol! I am getting alot more practice lately at not going on about it. *sigh* At one time he seemed to be open to the idea of adoption but now lately I have a nagging feeling he might have liked the idea more because he could put it off indefinately than for the actual reason of adopting. I would love to adopt though and my desire for more children is not diminishing so I will just keep praying that my husband or I would change in accordance with God's will. It's so hard to wait for that peace though. I want to know NOW! I'm not so good at waiting.

  3. Dear Amy,
    I can't believe you are going to have to have this done. I can speak from experience though, you WILL feel better than you EVER have! And that will help how your emotional self feels! I will keep you in my prayers!
    I can also speak to you about the difficulties of having a child (girl or boy). Karla and Scotty have tried for so long, and watching the ups and downs of finding out that she was pregnant and then loosing it, was hard for us all! So far this time God has blessed them with a healthy child. Parkes Graham Watson is due December 11th and we anxiously await his arrival. At this point in time none of us care about what sex it is as long as it's healthy! Although Karla wanted a boy anyway! She is beginning to have issues with her blood pressure though and so she has had to reduce the # of hours she works per day. But Lord willing we will have a healthy baby here in December!
    Please keep your head up about this all! Just remember that God loves you and gives you what you need! Another pregnancy and you might have REALLY lost your mind! lol
    We love you guys and keep you in our prayers!


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